Kafka would do well here, too.

Perhaps the Elginite should open a discussion on the great authors who would be most appropriate to present the Elgin of Diversity and Sustainability.

Margaret Mitchell of “Gone With the Wind” fame should certainly feel comfortable in NENA Elgin - an area overseen by affluent, articulate, well-educated white elites living in their beautiful “house walk” mansions and surrounded by neighborhoods of dependent, non-white poverty and squalor. Put Anna Moeller in a red dress and have her play Scarlett. But somehow John G. Dalton doesn’t quite fit my view of Rhett. Maybe in Rich Jacobs’eyes, not mine.

And then there’s Graham Greene who had a sharp eye for portraying deteriorating white people in Third World environments.

But to do complete justice to modern Elgin and its toxic combination of smarmy predators and dreamy-eyed wrist-flappers we’d need to call on the unique services of Evelyn Waugh. You need real acid to cut an honest portrait of Elgin today.

But alas, none of these writers wrote in a language understood by most of Elgin’s residents, so maybe we’d just have to rely on Cervantes. So who would be the Don? Mr. Schock or Mr. Kaptain? John G. Dalton? Certainly the role of the ass-riding Sancho Panza would have to go to Michael Noland. There’s something about asses that just immediately calls Mr. Noland to mind.

That was the time when Elgin’s so-called downtown, pursuant to the “master plan” of the day, was going to be “revitalized” into some 24-hour lively residential environment populated by sophisticates living in new residences costing roughly twice the average Elgin home price.

Memories of that lost era returned recently with PNC Bank’s suit against the developers of downtown’s River Park Place. The developers allegedly aren’t paying back their loans, and the bank wants its money.

You may all recall that River Park Place was the development that destroyed the Crocker and initiated the nasty eminent domain battle to eliminate the coin shop dealer who stood in the way of progress. In addition to eliminating a rare downtown business not being subsidized by the City, those activities cost the City about $1.4 million, and you can see the resulting empty lots today.

Four years ago RS was demanding that someone “finish the condos.” I don’t criticize him for making that call, but we can all be thankful that nothing happened. The condos never would have sold. Even empty lots are better than more empty downtown buildings or - even worse as in many communities - the concrete shells of partial construction. Of course, the developers hardly helped the project when they tried to raise the condo prices by some 40 percent on those few people who had committed to the project.

Remarkably, the City of Elgin’s Spin Machine, ever loyal to Ed Schock’s “optimism,” continues to paint River Park Place as a “wonderful success.” Those are the exact words on the City’s current website where it announces “River Park Place has been a wonderful success with average sale prices around $400K and being near soldout.” I’m sure this would be news to PNC Bank.

The City, however, probably doesn’t update this old website propaganda because we all know the big parade has moved on. Elgin’s revitaliztion racket has moved on from the Condo Era to the Age of Art, Culture and Sustainablity. Instead of populating Elgin’s downtown with affluent empty-nesters we will pay more City money to fill it with some “artists” who are too poor and unsuccessful to support themselves but will still be very hip. Oh, and we’re all going to be sustainable, too. We’ll have a “beautiful and memorable city” with “heritage buildings and places, and arts and cultural amenities” in a “prosperous” and “healthy, safe, attractive” environment. The new “Sustainability Action Plan” tells us so, and would Dave and Sandy Kaptain and their precious greenie cult lie?

Art, Culture, Sustainablity. Those are the new revitalization flavors of the month. But in view of the demographic realities hinted at in the Census and apparent around us everyday, do these plans have any more likelihood of success than those of the Condo Era. Think about that when we listen to the candidates in Elgin’s election spinning their personal fantasies for the city.

Thanks for your comment. Yeah it would be a interesting idea for me to use the public comment period at city council meetings. I’ll think about that.

As for real estate, the only question I’m asking here is at what point are we going to move from having faith that the market will turn around to being proactive, and making sure that these buildings get completed regardless of the market?

Instead of holding a beer in one hand and pointing fingers with your other, why don’t you try to remain positive about downtown Elgin’s progress and appreciate what has happened so far. If you can’t, then why don’t you write up a proposal about how Elgin should approach its downtown planning and present it at the next city council meeting.